I've lived for myself, and only myself for too long. I see this, and so have more recent and unfortunate lovers.
At this point in my life I feel as though I can only agree with the horrible truth that has been presented to me time, and time again. It makes me eternally sad at my inability to live for another (in certain regards). I'm the X-factor in my relationships. I see it all too clearly now. The sad thing is that I'm too set in my ways to make myself anew. I'm the only one who can make these changes. In the wake of the HMS Bobby, I have capsized many a vessel, and none of them were small in any way. The ships sailed were more colossal than mine by far, because they knew how to live for themselves and for that person that they held most sacred. I can only weep at the man I've become, and the man that I am no longer. This eternal sadness, I carry it inside me. I carry it inside, because I need something to tell me how not to live. I try to undo what I've become, and sometimes there's no sign of change in my character. For those who have had to deal with the monster that is Bobby. I apologise, because in no way did I ever mean to hurt you.
My heart grows heavy with each word I type, but in the end it is not helping. I need to just change my ways... I need to be sensitive again, and learn to live for more than just myself. Saying it is easy. Putting it into action is an entirely different realm altogether.